at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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