So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
