We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
