shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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