The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Holy sore nipples Batman
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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