So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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