Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
