Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just threw up on my dentist
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
