I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
