she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
i think im in europe. pls send help
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
