New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I checked into jail on foursquare
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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