i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
