I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
