hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
is that a dick in a sweater?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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