I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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