Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
