where am i from again
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
