I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
