I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
