I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize