OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
