i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
