Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
