dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
