The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
