I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize