My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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