My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
The best revenge is premature balding
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
