You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
