but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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