Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
