I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
