You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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