does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
