I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
