so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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