Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
