the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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