My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Randomize
