that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
