i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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