shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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