Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
