I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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