Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
