Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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