There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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