I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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