whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
