I think I died a long time ago.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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