Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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