She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
