Non-Jews are for practice
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
