so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
