ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he shaved USA in his pubs
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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