I wanna bring you to show and tell
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
How does one acquire holy water?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
