I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
