I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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