Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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