he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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