After last night, I could never be a politician.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
