He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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