ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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