Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
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