I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You can't just leave with hair like that
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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