Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize