using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
